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When kids feel emotionally dysregulated, it’s often not about one big moment.
It’s about the small, daily conditions shaping their brain’s ability to manage emotions over time.
Predictable routines and visible supports give the frontal lobe consistent practice — making regulation easier and more natural.
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➡️Keep reading even more for: NORIKO’S NOTES: sharing my life’s simple joys 💜
🛠️ How to Build Systems That Support Emotional Growth
(continued from part 1 of this week)
Step 3: Create Simple, Visible Systems for Daily Success
Children thrive when systems are externalized and visible, not hidden inside their heads.
Try This:
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Use open bins for clothing:
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One bin for pants, one for shirts, one for socks and underwear — easy for a child to access without needing help.
- Easier access than traditional closets or dressers
- Promotes independence and simple systems for both kids and parents
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Place reminder notes on the bathroom mirror
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A spot they visit every morning and evening.
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Set up a whiteboard divided into "Today / This Week / This Month"
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Children can add or check off tasks, building an ongoing awareness of what’s happening.
- Create a habit to routinely check this list to know the day to day plans and the big picture plans
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Tuck a Post-it note inside the lunchbox if there's an important afternoon task or reminder.
Why It Works:
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Reduces the daily memory burden (lowers cognitive and emotional stress)
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Supports independent thinking and task management
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Keeps the thinking brain (frontal lobe) engaged with clear, achievable steps
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Builds pride and emotional confidence by showing kids they can navigate their day successfully
Visible systems help organize both the home and the mind, creating a calm foundation for emotional regulation.
Step 4: Prepare the Night to Protect the Morning
Evenings are the perfect time to set up tomorrow’s emotional success.
Try This:
Quick evening "Ready Check" routine:
➔ Lunchbox emptied and repacked?
➔ Backpack zipped and ready? Put in car already?
➔ Clothes chosen or bins ready to grab from?
Why It Works:
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Reduces last-minute surprises and stress in the morning
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Helps kids wake into an organized environment rather than chaos
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Sends a powerful message:
➔ "When I prepare ahead, I protect my future feelings and success."
Morning emotional dysregulation often begins the night before.
Preparing the environment in advance protects the child's brain from starting the day in reaction mode.
🧠 Big Idea:
External organization isn't just a convenience —
It's a critical tool for building emotional resilience.
Each checklist, mirror note, and easy-to-access bin is a bridge that connects planning to feeling calm.
Every small system gives your child one more way to choose thoughtfulness over overwhelm.
📋 Parent Reflection:
What is one small system you could set up tonight
— a bin, a mirror note, a ready checklist —
that might make tomorrow feel smoother, lighter, and more confident for your child?
Small systems build big calm, one simple step at a time.
NORIKO'S NOTES: sharing my life's simple joys💜
This is the actual photo I sent my family~
I was cleaning up a couple of weeks ago, and opened up this night stand. BAM! I was greeted by my 7 little cuite gnomes that I had forgotten lived down there! I have so many different ones, especially holiday themed ones that come out from time to time...clearly stored in random places! I just think they are so adorable. I don't really like the realistic ones but these types are super cute. Any other gnome lovers out there?? Show me some of your favorites!!
As silly as it sounds, they truly do make me happy looking at them😆
Thank you for letting me share my simple joy💜 .
Gratefully yours,
Noriko
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Noriko Abenojar, MSW PPS
Parenting REdefined
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