Our body language often speaks before we do.
A small physical change—even 10 degrees—can completely shift how others see us.
In my sessions, I often notice that someone who wants to be part of a conversation may unknowingly sit or move in ways that tell others, “Don’t talk to me.”
These very small signals can open or close doors to social opportunities:
- Leaning forward → shows interest and openness
- Leaning back → can look bored or disengaged
- Facing slightly toward others → looks welcoming
- Facing slightly away → can look closed off
- Soft expression or small smile → invites connection
- Crossed arms at a party → even if comfortable, can seem unapproachable
In my work with teens and adults, I often see people surprised to realize that their body movements and positioning were sending messages they never meant to give.
Unfortunately, those signals are often the exact opposite of what they intended, which adds to their confusion about social interactions and how others respond to them.
Welcoming body language doesn’t require direct eye contact.
- When the body is angled toward others, even if the eyes glance away, it still communicates openness.
- Turning both the body and the eyes away, however, can make someone appear disengaged or uninterested.
When we help others notice these cues, we teach them to match their body with their intentions. We show that small changes can open up more opportunities for connection, friendship, and belonging.
NORIKO'S NOTES: sharing my life's simple joys💜
I always love to learn new skills. I recently learned that I had been terrible at sending out newsletters and group emails to my Parenting REdefined community, from a technology standpoint. Very humbling.
I led this project with my heart, to reach as many parents as possible who share similar concerns and goals...which I still stand by. However, I learned I need to take into account the digital world in order to reach more people successfully.
You may have noticed this newsletter looking different; hopefully in a good way! I am keeping it short and sweet to improve readability and keeping it digitally simple to improve deliverability. I didn't know I needed to limit photo file sizes, reduce the number of links, or avoid using certain words that sound like spam!
Still SO much to learn but I will be using my hyperfocus superpowers to tackle this, too!
SO, I hope this issue landed safely in your inbox.
AND, I’d really love to hear from you; even just a quick note.
Please hit reply and tell me one of these:
- “Yes, I got this in my inbox!” (just so I know it arrived!)
- What topic you’d love me to write about next
- One small takeaway you’ve used from a past newsletter
Every reply helps me learn and keeps this Parenting REdefined community growing. 💜
And if you’ve found any of my newsletters helpful, please forward them to another parent or teacher and invite them to subscribe — it truly helps me continue this work.
Thank you for letting me share my simple joy of gaining new skills💜.
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Noriko Abenojar, MSW PPS
Parenting REdefined
Social and Cognitive Learning Center
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