This month we’ll explore how kids build friendships through shared experiences. Each week we’ll take a step deeper.
- What Are Shared Experiences?
- Shared Experiences + Shared Emotions
- Helping Kids Notice Shared Moments
- Turning Moments Into Friendships
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➡️💜Keep reading even more for: NORIKO’S NOTES: sharing my life’s simple joys
đź’ś Many people think of moving from acquaintance to friendship in one big step.
For our kids, that doesn’t work.
They benefit from having concrete mini steps laid out, so the path feels clear and doable.
Without those steps, some kids rush straight to “best friends” and get disappointed when it doesn’t work out, while others don’t take any steps at all because they don’t know what to do.
Our role is to show them the in-between steps, so connection can grow at their pace.
A shared experience is simply doing something together.
It means being part of the same moment, whether it’s exciting, ordinary, or even a little awkward.
These experiences are the raw material of friendship.
If a child can say the words:
“Remember when WE…?”
...that shows they had a shared experience and have taken the first mini step toward growing it.
One simple step to try this week:
Carpool with another family
- On the surface it feels like convenience or sharing the load - this keeps the pressure off of the kids.
- For kids, it creates shared experiences in the car.
- quick conversations
- bursts of laughter
- noticing the same things along the ride
- Even the small detail of “my mom knows your mom” gives the relationship a more special layer.
For my SCLC families, I encourage you to consider reaching out to other families in your social group to start a carpool to sessions, for this very reason.
➡️ Carpooling is one powerful way to create shared experiences, but it’s not the only one. Other odinary, repeatable moments can have the same effect.
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walking to school with a neighbor
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sharing a snack before practice
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waiting together before a lesson starts
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if you notice a child hasn’t been picked up yet, simply offering to wait with them until their parent arrives
These small pockets of time may seem simple, but they give kids the chance to say, “Remember when WE…?”
That's the type of mini steps we are looking for.
➡️ These little connections are what set acquaintances apart and help them move toward becoming friends.
➡️ See you next time, when we’ll take the next step and talk about how shared emotions deepen those experiences and make friendships even stronger.
NORIKO'S NOTES: sharing my life's simple joysđź’ś
Anyone else have an aging pet? My dearest Roxie will turn 13 years old next week. Many of you know her from SCLC; she used to work with me in some of my social groups.
She still looks great but she is DEFINITELY slowing down and she doesn't hear as well as she used to. I now have to take her on walks very early in the morning or late at night so she doesn't get too hot.
She is so smart and funny.
She knows how to take short cuts to save herself from taking unnecessary steps.
When I cross the street at the cross walk, she will usually cut across at an angle because she already knows which way I am headed (she is often off leash walking in the neighborhood because...well...she doesn't move that fast!)
When we get to the part of the walk where I go to throw away the poopy bag, she will stop half way and wait for me because she knows that I am coming back towards her.
I just love her so much that I find myself getting really emotional realizing that she can't be with us forever.
Here are some of my favorite photos of young Roxie.
⬆️Roxie in action in social group as a young lady!
Thank you for letting me share my simple joyđź’ś.
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