When emotions run high, even the simplest conversations with your child can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s about a conflict at school or managing big feelings at home, navigating these moments calmly can be tough.
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Those of you in my Social and Cognitive Learning Center programs, you know I love my WHITEBOARD!! I recently had a teenager tell me “OMG Noriko, you and your whiteboard!!” LOL. Yup, I love it. It is an easily accessible item that can completely change how these conversations unfold.
I call it THE WHITEBOARD EFFECT.
Why It Works:
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Reduces Emotional Intensity: Instead of facing each other directly, you both focus on the board. This shared focus makes the conversation feel less intense and more like a team effort.
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Slows Down the Conversation: Writing things down naturally creates pauses. This gives everyone time to process emotions and thoughts before responding, keeping the conversation calm and thoughtful.
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Makes Dynamics Visible: Complex feelings and interactions can be hard to explain with words. The whiteboard helps map out relationships, emotions, and situations visually, making them easier to understand.
Conversation Starters to Use While Writing:
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“Help me understand…”
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“Tell me more as we draw this out…”
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“What would you add here?”
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“Let’s draw arrows to show how people reacted.”
- "How did you feel here?"
- "Looking at this board, I can see why you felt..."
These prompts invite your child to engage in the process without feeling pressured, and the act of drawing can help them express thoughts they might struggle to verbalize.
Try this at home:
Next time you face a tricky conversation, grab a whiteboard (or even just paper). Map out the situation, emotions, or interactions together. You might be surprised at how much clearer and calmer the conversation feels when you’re both focused on solving the problem side by side.
Noriko Abenojar, MSW PPS
Parenting REdefined
www.SocialAndCognitiveLearningCenter.com
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