💌 Forward this to a mom or grandmother you admire—
Someone who’s showing up day after day, carrying the mental load, and doing the hard, invisible work of parenting. Let her know she’s seen, appreciated, and not alone in this journey. 💜
➡️🔗www.NorikoAbenojar.com/Newsletters to view all past newsletters
➡️🔗www.NorikoAbenojar.com/Masterclass ~ check them out!!
➡️Keep reading even more for: NORIKO’S NOTES: sharing my life’s simple joys 💜
This week we are continuing to celebrate MOMS because it is still Mother's Day Week!!!
In my work, I sit with so many moms (and the primary caregiver grandmothers out there!) who are the ones:
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Attending school meetings, doctor’s appointments, or my sessions
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Fiercely advocating for their child’s needs
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Driving from school to appointments and back again
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Remembering which foods their child will and won’t eat this month
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Noticing their child’s social struggles—then looking for ways to help
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Learning alongside their child, even when no one is giving them credit
They’re also the ones staying up late to read articles (my newsletters too! Yay and thank you!!), texting back and forth with other parents, or showing up emotionally and physically—again and again—for their kids.
And while there are absolutely amazing dads, stepdads, uncles, and other caregivers doing this work too, this week I want to shine the light on the women I see most often on the front lines. 💜
If you’re a mom or grandmother carrying the emotional weight of the family and trying to get it “right,” even when it feels hard…
If you’re the one who’s advocating, learning, and gently redirecting behavior day after day…
If you’ve ever felt invisible in that role—
Let this be your reminder:
✨ You are doing deeply important work. ✨
Even when it doesn’t feel like progress…
Even when your child can’t make the changes yet...
Even when the people around you don’t fully understand what it takes—and may even make you really mad…
You are shaping your child’s world—and their capacity to thrive in it.
💜 Let’s Talk About Step Zero: Supporting YOU
Remember that step zero is about managing your own emotions before you can even move onto Step 1 of ANY parenting strategy. Before you can support our kids, you have to start with yourself.
Here are some real-world, doable ideas to carve out moments of calm in the chaos:
✅ Take the long way home.
Give yourself a few extra quiet minutes in the car between errands or pickups. Deep breaths and silence go a long way in helping you reset before facing the next transition.
✅ Start a voice message routine.
Apps like Voxer make it easy to send voice messages to trusted friends without needing both people free at the same time. Vent, share, laugh and send, knowing that your friend will listen when they are available.
✅ Create one small “anchor” routine.
Whether it’s lighting a candle at night, a cup of tea at 2pm, or setting your planner for 5 minutes each morning—choose something grounding to help you feel a little more settled even if everything else feels unpredictable.
✅ Tag in, tag out.
Have a pre-set plan with your partner, parent, friend, or babysitter for when you’re emotional tank is running low. A 15-minute solo walk or a break behind a closed door can do wonders.
✅ Never go to tough meetings alone.
Whenever possible, attend IEPs, evaluations, or feedback sessions with a partner, advocate, or trusted support person (like me!). It’s not just for notes—it’s so you can debrief and emotionally recover after.
✅ Pick a “don’t do” list.
Instead of adding more, subtract something. Maybe it’s a house chore, a social obligation, or even a parenting expectation you can shelve for now. You don’t need to do it all.
✅ Use visual cues for support.
Put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror that says: “Breathe. You don’t need to solve everything today.
To every mom (and grandma) showing up in a hundred quiet ways each day: I see you. Your work is real. Your presence is powerful. And your child is growing stronger because of you.
NORIKO'S NOTES: sharing my life's simple joys💜
After 20 years of being mom, I had the most unusual mother's day! For the first time, I didn't spend the day with my family; it was different but great. If my family, the 4 of us, couldn't be together due to work and final exams, this was a very good second best. I went down to San Diego (again LOL) to help my son move out of his second year dorm/apartment to be home for the summer. YAY! To be honest, I really didn't need to come down because he decided to store most of his items in storage over the summer and did not need me to bring the minivan down to drive his items home. He is very capable of packing and cleaning (I think??)...but I just wanted to come down to be a part of this transition moment. Maybe it's because when I was in college, my parents had moved back to Japan, and I went through all of my college moves by myself? I do think these are big moments; closing the chapter of one school year and gearing up for the next stage of life. It is a very special time for these students and I am grateful to be a part of it, even if that might include some cleaning of a "very lived in" apartment! I am writing this segment before the actual move-out day so wish me luck!! I'll report back next time😝
Mother's Day morning 2025 - Jake picked me up from my hotel with a surprise breakfast burrito and tacos (he knows my favorites!). We went to the water to eat and hang out. It was so fun!
I LOVE these kids who made me a mommy! Many tears of happiness and many tears of worry, with each one leading to a deeper understanding of each other🫶.
They were sooo into Super Why so I made them these capes so they can wear them while watching the show. Do you remember that show?
Thank you for letting me share my simple joy💜 .
Gratefully yours,
Noriko
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Noriko Abenojar, MSW PPS
Parenting REdefined
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